A first date is not much different from the first day of school.
Each of us is perfectly aware that every word we say, every look we give, and every piece of clothing we wear will be noticed and judged by the other person.
One of the many concerns about a first date is the right attitude to have towards the tricky topic of sex.
In this matter, both men and women find themselves in an awkward position. With a few exceptions, men wouldn’t mind to end their first date in a bedroom but are afraid to show it, they don’t want to be labelled as “players” who are just interested in one thing.
As far as women are concerned, they waver between two opposite role-playing: the good girl who will never have sex on a first date and the modern, liberated woman who is not ashamed to express her sexuality at any one time she wants.
Just as he’s worried to look too keen on the idea of undress her before the end of the dinner, she’s worried not to appear like a porn star but, at the same time, she’s scared like hell to be considered not sexy or, worst of all, a “nun”.
All considered, the woman‘s position is much more complex, as usual, than the man’s. She has to find a difficult balance and, whatever she does, she will always be worried she hasn’t done the right thing.
Because of this complexity, which weighs heavily on women, I’d like to focus my attention on male psychology, a matter that, on the contrary, is never particularly complex.
A man’s attitude about a first date depends almost entirely on how he rates the woman involved.
In brief, after having met a girl, talked to her and got her number, most of guys place her in two general categories: a girl for a relationship with unlimited potentialities of development; a girl with which to have sex.
Of course, the placement in either category is not set in tablets of stone: a girl branded as a bedroom partner might turn out to be such a fantastic woman that he changes his mind and places her in the other, more flattering, category. Unfortunately, it also works the other way around: a girl, initially considered as a potential long-term relationship, could be demoted to a no-strings-attached fling.
So, taken as a given that men categorize women even before going out with them, does this affect the attitude they have on a first date?
It actually does.
It might sound sad or old-fashion, but when a man pushes to have sex on a first date, chances are that he has placed that girl in the “sex partner” category and it would be a hell of a job to move him from that position.
In conclusion, sex on a first date? Maybe.
But keep in mind that, with all the due exceptions, the sooner the sex, the shorter the relationship.
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